‘OFF with their heads!’: ‘Queen of Hearts’ snubbed by Globes

by William Dorich on January 18, 2012

in Balkans, Bosnia, Croatia, enemy propaganda, mainstream media, Serbia, William Dorich (team member)

By Peter Brock
Reprinted with permission

Personally, I didn’t watch any of the Golden Globes presentations last night. I was much more interested in the Packers walking through plays in the final five minutes before the climax in their bizarre loss to the Giants.

However, I had my mind on the Globes and was curious about what Jolie & Co. would try to pull off while “From the Land of Blood and Honey” was staggering through its last five days at the box office. (I don’t intend to follow her or her morbid feature-length “animated” disaster all the way into oblivion.)

But, the result of her “directorial debut”—or so the “limited distribution” has been touted since it opened December 23rd—was reinforced with the addition of eleven more theaters to the original seven in LA and New York by the middle of last week. Since last Wednesday, when the total box office take added up to $103,000, the smaller cadre of “dissenting” movie critics were calling it what it is: a “flop”! As of today, nothing has changed, in my viewing of online videos and other reports about the Globes extravaganza.

As Angelina Jolie was looking wooden and wan on the “red carpet” yesterday, her film was wheezing to get up to almost $146,000. Recalling that she and her investors originally shelled out $13 Million, it continues to free-fall.

But, the “money” side of it is not the story—except for what it’s costing her to ram it into public and political perception as a “success.” Even the “judging” for the Globes could not shove it to the top of the Best Foreign Language Film pile with such a miserable backing from the movie-going public.
Evil Queen of Hearts
Curiously, the reporter for Moviefone.com quoted from a description today that perhaps was unintentional: “Angie looks very Queen of Hearts in a white Atelier Versace gown with pops up red (sic)…”, wrote The Contra Costa (Calif.) Times. The “Queen of Hearts” reference had to be meant as complimentary, if subtly wry. But then, I recalled the booming voice of Verna Felton in Disney’s production—“OFF with their heads!”—and I remembered being just a little kid in the darkened theater and cringing in my seat.

Lots of writers/reporters seemed to be struggling with Jolie’s gaunt, anorexic frame while busied with her obligatory video duty. The “world’s most beautiful woman” looked terrible. And mega-tense, as she and Mr. Pitt awaited the choreographed questions from breathless interviewer Ryan Seacrest.

The poor thing, according to a comment from one online movie mag-wag, needed an emergency dose of two cheeseburgers. Another was disturbed that her hip-bone could be seen through her dress. Everyone else was swooning in cadence to the silver with red-trim gown that limply hung on her.

The canned answers rolled off the Pitt’s tongues as they have in months of promotional appearances, but Jolie’s expression flashed momentarily and her brittle voice cracked slightly when asked if she had been “nervous” about the release of her film. Clearly, she winced at recalling those mostly unreported controversies about stereotyping the actors as Serb monsters during the recent Balkan wars. Also, her memory is fresh with recent ambushes by women’s groups and other humanitarian organizations with accusations of glorifying “rapes.” Governments had threatened to pull their permits and assistance becoming temporarily deaf to pleas of innocence and artistic interpretation. The project was hurried to completion earlier than scheduled—partly explaining the odd release two days before Christmas. Not the best timing, you might think, when having to go up against holiday competition from the latest “Alvin and the Chipmunks.”

Not imaginably unrelated was a barb tossed at the Golden Globes itself by the poison-tongued emcee Ricky Gervais: “…For any of you who don’t know, the Golden Globes are just like the Oscars, but without all that esteem. The Golden Globes are to the Oscars what Kim Kardashian is to Kate Middleton. A bit louder, a bit trashier, a bit drunker, and more easily bought. Allegedly. Nothing’s been proved.”

“More easily bought” than Balkan politicians? What WAS Gervais teasing everyone with?!

Jolie’s carpet performance seemed to overlap clumsily on topics of “victims” and the “acceptance by the people” of her film “in the country,” as the Pitt’s tag-teamed uncomfortably. It took some time to figure out they weren’t talking about movie fans in the U.S.

A nearly palpable tide of paranoia was rising. Surely, Seacrest had no such sinister intentions to talk about the bad reviews and tanked revenues.

Well, the show had to go on. She gratuitously handed Martin Scorsese his Globe for Best Director. But, the similarity between “director apprentice” and “director emeritus” only became more obvious. Even Pitt seemed somewhat off-balance as the whole extravaganza teetered at times with an underlying …tension. “Sinister” may be too hard a word. Pitt himself added to it, wielding a cane for a new knee cartilage injury.

The cameras panned the tables closest to the podium for the rest of the evening’s exercise of insincere applause. The First Couple knew what to do.

So, “From the Land of Blood and Honey” and Jolie continue their odyssey even though they likely will not get serious Oscar consideration during the next few weeks.

Meanwhile, credit Todd McCarthy in today’s The Hollywood Reporter for finally answering the question: Where did Jolie come up with that title about “blood and honey”?

“The title stems from the fact that, in reference to the Balkans, the Turkish word for honey is ‘bal’ while the word for blood is ‘kan’.”

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{ 2 comments… read them below or add one }

1 1389 January 18, 2012 at 12:39 am

I missed both the Golden Globes (which I would never have watched in any event) and the football game (which I missed only because I was at work). Television is not a big priority in my life, and never has been. Same with the movies. I’m too busy and too restless to spend much time passively watching anything. Even on the Internet, I comment and blog as much as I watch.

2 Westie January 20, 2012 at 3:58 pm

Good, may she lose everything she invested in the fraud movie.

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