You might be a liberal, if…
1. You want to bring Joseph Kony to justice but aren’t willing to do anything other than click “Like” in Facebook.
2. You want to end world poverty—by giving away other people’s money.
3. You support alternative energy, but oppose nuclear power, hydroelectric power, and don’t want windmills spoiling your view.
4. You think that consenting adults can freely engage in any activity—except freely exchange goods and services without government interference.
5. You want to outlaw cigarettes, but legalise marijuana.
6. You have no problem with Hollywood movie stars and celebrities flying around in private jets to give speeches on the evils of global warming.
7. You think only white people can be racist.
8. You support the killing of unborn babies, but oppose the killing of criminals convicted of heinous crimes.
9. You think marriage is obsolete—except for homosexuals.
10. You uphold a woman’s right to choose—unless she chooses adoption, homeschooling or being a stay-at-home mum.
11. You oppose discrimination against women—except when they’re married to, or daughters of, working men.
12. You think it’s fine to mock and insult Christians and Christianity, but Islam is untouchable and Muslims must be respected.
13. You want to “Save Darfur” but aren’t willing to do anything more than slap a bumper sticker on your car.
14. You want to ban guns – except for those carried by your kid’s bodyguards (like Rosie O’Donnell).
15. You are against school vouchers for public school students, but send your own kids to private school.
16. You think property damage, squatting on public property and violence on behalf of the Occupy Wall Street movement is OK, but a Tea Party event that respectfully protests taxes and unconstitutional government is dangerous.
17. You believe that nativity scenes should be banned from public view, but that anyone objecting to pornography should just look the other way.
18. You think Israel is a criminal state, but Hamas and Islamic Jihad aren’t criminals.
19. Deep down you believe 3,000 American civilians deserved to die on 9-11.
20. You think a conservative teaching alternative theories to evolution is dangerous, but a guy in a tutu can teach your kids anytime.
21. You think the price of gasoline is too high, but you will fight tooth and nail to prevent the development of new oil resources.
22. You believe cutting taxes on large businesses is wrong, but spending hundreds of billions of dollars on anti-pollution programs that don’t work is mandatory.
23. Of the billions of tons of carbon dioxide produced on Earth each year, you believe only the ten-thousandth of 1 percent that is produced by humans is affecting the Earth’s climate.
24. Insults and threats directed at President Bush made you laugh, but you believe any criticism of President Obama is racist.
25. You value tolerance—except when it comes to opinions you dislike.