Dear comedy writers, executives and others at SNL:
Do we have a great opportunity to have the joker of the century on your show! The guy is great at reading a teleprompter in a funny stop-and-start way. He can say anything (and we mean ANYTHING) with a straight face! He seems to be discussing the issues of the day, but what he says makes so little sense that it is absolutely hilarious.
He has appeared on many shows of all the major networks, including ABC, CBS, NBC, CNBC, Fox, MSNBC and even al-Jazeera. He has been on radio and he is very, very well known. But only SNL has the comedy currency to deserve having this master comedian on regularly.
While this man will be out of work in about 16 months, SNL should have him making the country laugh right now. His current job has not been working out and he is totally incapable of doing the job he is being paid to do. In all fairness, SNL did have another guy appearing three years ago who had been trying to get the same job. That guy was marginally funny. However, the fellow we have in mind is much funnier – if, and only if, you realize that everything he says is a big joke.
Now, there will be some problems and we don’t want to overlook them. He is half-African (though not necessarily African-American). Although we find it incredible, we understand that some African-Americans identify with this jokester. We at 1389 Blog find this hard to understand. The writers and commenters at 1389 blog are multi-ethnic, but when we find a Serb, a Czech, a Greek, Native American, or whatever other ethnicity, acting like such a buffoon, we are taken aback considerably. And trust me, if people notice the African half of this clown, they might think back to that “Negro” comedy, such as Amos ‘n’ Andy or Stepin Fetchit or others from that era. When he speaks, we expect his eyes to get really big and the eyeballs to look around to show that he is suffering from clue-deficit disorder Sometimes, in the middle of his speeches, we expect him to repeat a classic line from the era, such as, “There ain’t nobody here but us chickens.” Let us assure you that he has not uttered any of the old “Negro” comedy classics . . . yet. But, we are sure . . . well pretty sure . . . he won’t . . . at least, not very often.
The other problem is that a substantial minority of the US population takes this clown seriously. These folks might find it offensive to have him making the rest of us laugh on SNL, as they see this cut-up as some sort of a secular “messiah.” If fact, one extremely open-minded and understanding Fox News commentator reaches out to those people and refers to our jokester as “the anointed one.”
Yes, we have this master standup comic’s phone number and email handy, though we’ll admit it isn’t easy to get his attention these days. And we also know his address. It’s 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue, Washington D.C. 20500. But, barring a miracle, he will be losing his residency in January 2013. So, please hurry! The sooner he is out of DC and working for you, the better for SNL!
And, for that matter, the better for all fifty (NOT fifty-seven) States!
– 1389 Blog Admin CzechRebel