Ruptured Rapture Roundup

by 1389 on May 24, 2011

in 1389 (blog admin), Australia, Bible, Christianity, FAIL, humor, KLA/UCK, New Zealand, offbeat news, Twitter, UK, USA

Hear The Truth…

'Judgement Day on May 21?? Hear the Truth on May 22' Church Sign
No, this is not my own parish church, but I did take the photo above.

I am certainly not the only one to notice that any attempt to predict the time and date of the Apocalypse is un-Scriptural:

Weasel Zippers: About That Whole Rapture Thing Yesterday …

Billboard: 'That was awkward. No one knows the day or the hour...Matthew 24:36'

News of the predicted apocalypse spread around the world. Observers in various time zones made a game of disproving the prediction:

Telegraph (UK): Apocalypse not right now: ‘Rapture’ end of world fails to materialise

Reports of the end of the world appeared to have been exaggerated today.

By Bonnie Malkin, in Sydney, and David Barrett

Inhabitants of New Zealand, scheduled to be among the first to meet the apocalypse according to a US fundamentalist preacher, this morning confirmed they were still in existence as the appointed time was reached in their time zone.

There were also unconfirmed reports that Tonga has, thus far, failed to boil into the Pacific.

Eighty-nine-year-old tele-evangelist Harold Camping had prophesied that the “Rapture” would begin with powerful earthquakes at 6pm in each of the world’s regions, after which the good would be beamed up to heaven.

This morning, Kiwis confirmed there were no signs of the dead rising from the grave, nor of the living ascending into the clouds to meet Jesus Christ.

Twitter users were disappointed by the absence of Armaggedon.
Vicky Hyde, spokesman for the New Zealand Skeptic Society said she was confident the Rapture was not imminent.

“These kind of predictions come up particularly in times of economic or social uncertainty – which is pretty much almost every year actually, you can track them, whether it’s commentary impacts or the rapture or giant space aliens or something.

“And the only thing they have in common is they are all wrong,” she said.

Camping spread his message of doom via Family Radio, which has a network of 66 radio stations and online broadcasts.

After today’s day of reckoning, he said non-believers would suffer through hell on earth until October 21, when God would pull the plug on the planet once and for all.

But after incorrectly predicting the end of the world in 1994, Camping’s prophecies have been met with derision. And it seems this time he was wrong again…

Sadly, some desperate souls looked forward to the predicted apocalypse, not because they wanted to be in the presence of God, but because they have given up on coping with life on Earth:

Patterico: Rapture Fails to Materialize; Losers Hardest Hit

Get out your small violins:

Keith Bauer, a 38-year-old tractor-trailer driver from Westminster, Md., took last week off from work, packed his wife, young son and a relative in their SUV and crossed the country.

If it was his last week on Earth, he wanted to see parts of it he’d always heard about but missed, such as the Grand Canyon and the Painted Forest. With maxed-out credit cards and a growing mountain of bills, he said, the rapture would have been a relief.

Hey, if you have a family and are deep in debt, the only rational thing to do is take a week off and travel around because you think the world is about to end.

Really too bad that Mr. Bauer couldn’t find the “relief” he sought.

Others saw the media brouhaha as an occasion for some interactive comedy:

Nothing Like A Good Prank…

Blogmocracy 2.0: After The Rapture
By Bunk X

Dog on a leash next to empty clothes and shoes
[Tip o’ the Tarboosh to CR.]

All I can think of is “that poor damned dog.” Of course, it could be that The Day of Rapture is different for canines, and one day there will be a leash laying on the ground beside a collar while its owner stands there dumbfounded.

Mongoose, also on 2.0: The Blogmocracy, had thought of a good way to prank gullible passers by: leaving pairs of old shoes outdoors, and putting dry ice in them to create rising vapor. Mongoose told me why that plan went awry:

@ 1389AD:

That is what I was going to do but when I got to Goodwill there were no shoes left.

Someone stole my idea! (b–tards…) 🙁

Also see…

  • Photojournalist Zombie went to the source to chronicle the Media Circus of Biblical Proportions at Armageddon HQ. Rival groups of protesters, pranksters, and placard-bearers turned out in force at the Oakland headquarters of Harold Camping, the radio preacher who started it all by predicting the end of the world on June 21. (Some pictures NSFW.)
  • Ed Morissey at Hot Air asks: Is the Rapture schadenfreude turning sinister? He points out that the misguided and panicky activities of Camping and his followers have become an opportunity to ridicule Christians in general, the vast majority of whom had nothing to do with this.

{ 2 comments… read them below or add one }

1 Bunk Strutts May 24, 2011 at 1:47 am

I said, “All I can think of is ‘that poor damned dog.'”
Nice collection otherwise. =)

2 1389 May 24, 2011 at 11:36 am

I try to bleep out anything that looks like a cussword on 1389 Blog, but I acknowledge that I overreacted here. Sorry about that!

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